Shuhadah Jaafar shares her journey accepting her friend as co-wife after husband sought polygamous union
A woman from Kemaman has opened up about her decision to accept her husband’s polygamous marriage to her own friend, emphasising transparency and proper procedures over secrecy in such arrangements.
According to Harian Metro, Shuhadah Jaafar chose to grant permission for her husband, Muhammad Azizi Zakaria, to marry her acquaintance Nor Azura Mohd Azmin after nearly seven years of marriage, despite the emotional difficulty of the situation.
Shuhadah first met Nor Azura through a clothing boutique transaction, and the two women had socialised on several occasions and attended events together, though not frequently. The revelation that her husband had developed feelings for someone she considered a friend came as a surprise.
“When I discovered my husband had feelings for my friend and wanted to marry her, I was definitely sad,” Shuhadah admitted. “But after thinking it through and considering that my husband was being honest about wanting to legitimise the relationship, I accepted it. What mattered most was that they weren’t carrying on behind my back.”
She acknowledged that no wife wants to share her husband, and the decision required considerable time and reflection before reaching her conclusion.
According to Shuhadah, her husband explained that his intention to take a second wife wasn’t driven by lust but by practical considerations, as he manages business operations together with Nor Azura. Additionally, Shuhadah felt compassion for the woman who would become her co-wife, knowing she had experienced difficult circumstances in her past.
“My husband and my friend already had feelings for each other, so I gave permission because matters of the heart are complicated,” she explained. “I was worried that if I refused, something worse might happen later on.”
Shuhadah has been vocal about the marriage on social media, stating her intention was to prevent gossip while setting an example for other men considering polygamy.
“I shared about their marriage on social media because I didn’t want rumours spreading, and I wanted to show husbands out there who are thinking about polygamy that they should be straightforward with their first wives,” she said. “Don’t take the easy route by getting married secretly or crossing over to Thailand.”
She expressed hope that her relationship with her husband would last until the hereafter despite the challenges in their marriage. Shuhadah also emphasised the importance of mutual understanding between co-wives and ensuring the husband treats both fairly.
“I hope people won’t view the second wife as a ‘homewrecker’ or husband-stealer because so far, she treats me and my children well,” Shuhadah noted. “It’s actually easier when your co-wife is someone you already know because it’s simpler to create harmony. Now, our relationship has become even closer.”
Muhammad Azizi acknowledged knowing from the beginning that his two wives were friends but insisted he never intended to damage their friendship or hurt them through polygamy.
According to him, feelings for his second wife developed unexpectedly, and to prevent any improper situation from occurring, he decided to marry her to legitimise the relationship according to Islamic principles.
As a husband, Muhammad Azizi expressed deep appreciation not only for his first wife’s willingness to accept the arrangement but also for her earnestness in appearing before the judge to support his application for a second marriage.
“These feelings weren’t something I planned or sought out—they just appeared unexpectedly,” he explained. “When those feelings emerged, I felt guilty many times and tried to fight them and distance myself from her. But my heart was already attached, so I decided to be honest with my first wife, ask for permission, and follow the proper channels. I chose to do everything with proper conduct, with blessings, and not secretly.”
Muhammad Azizi revealed that his first wife was extremely accommodating, even allowing the second marriage ceremony to take place in their shared home.
“My first wife said there was no need to hold it at the mosque or prayer hall, and as a husband, I’m grateful because Allah made everything easy,” he said. “I was touched remembering her sacrifice, and even the judge at the court told me I should give my wife the greatest appreciation.”
He became emotional after the marriage solemnisation ceremony with his second wife, reflecting on his responsibility to treat both wives fairly.
Muhammad Azizi firmly denied that the second marriage was based on desire, stating instead that he wanted to provide guidance and protection to the woman involved.
“People did suggest I get married in Golok, Thailand, but for me, the key to marriage is honesty and communication,” he emphasised. “Whatever happens, I’ll try my best to be fair, and for men out there, don’t hide it if you want to marry again because it will only damage your relationship with your spouse.”
The couple’s story has sparked conversation about polygamy practices in Malaysia, particularly regarding the importance of transparency, proper legal procedures, and maintaining respect between all parties involved in such arrangements.
