Q: I have started dreading Valentine’s Day, and I think my wife feels the same. It has become overly commercialised, and do not get us started on the pressure to match other people’s Instagram-perfect romantic gestures. What is your take?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Many couples today feel that Valentine’s Day has become overly commercialised, reducing romance to last-minute gifts and extravagant gestures. It often seems like love on Feb 14 is measured by chocolates, roses or fancy dinners.
The key lies in rediscovering the true essence of the occasion. Take time to understand what truly makes your spouse feel loved. For some, traditional gifts may be the way to their hearts while others may prefer a cozy night at home with tea.
Valentine’s Day is a chance to express appreciation for your partner and celebrate the enrichment they bring to your life. It is never wrong to celebrate it but it is also important to infuse that same passion into your relationship year-round.
Married life can be hectic, making daily romance challenging. Yet, small acts of spontaneity can make a significant difference – a date night, a heartfelt card or a simple text saying “I love you”. Such gestures can often mean more in the quieter months than they do on Feb 14.
Ultimately, the key is to be spontaneous, thoughtful and sincere in your expressions of love. Keeping the spark alive requires consistent effort but the rewards are immeasurable.
Q: I recently heard a speaker suggest setting goals for our relationships. While I understand the importance of setting objectives for career, health, finances and other areas, I am unsure how this can benefit my marriage. What are your thoughts?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Just as talking to your children about their goals may reveal aspirations such as getting good grades or achieving success in sports, which are admirable, it is equally important to encourage them to think beyond these goals and focus on personal character development as well. This same principle applies to your marriage.
As a couple, consider discussing your relationship in terms of a theme. This theme can be “forgiveness”, “kindness” or “patience”. Try to incorporate this theme into every aspect of your marriage.
For instance, if you choose “patience”, aim to be more patient with each other and make it a topic of ongoing conversation.
Regularly discuss how you see each other improving in this area. Supporting each other in this way can positively impact your marriage and bring you closer together.
For a fulfilling relationship, strive for goals that are more inspiring than just “living together”.
Find ways to keep your interest in each other alive. Read books or watch movies that you can discuss afterward.
Set common goals, such as saving for a dream vacation. Even better, intentionally build character into your marriage. Be more considerate, patient or forgiving with one another and share positive feedback as you notice each other’s growth.
Your marriage does not have to be an endless string of mundane days. Set some basic goals and work them into your relationship to keep it vibrant and fulfilling.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: [email protected]
