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Ensuring teens, young adults do not feel alienated at reunions
For many teens and young adults, especially the current and previous two generations, long family gatherings feel uncomfortable, exhausting or out of sync with their lifestyle.
Several common reasons explain why a growing part of the population might avoid them.
Too much social pressure
Being around many relatives often means social expectations: small talk, answering the same inane questions such as “How’s school?”, “When are you getting a job/partner?” and every child-free young couple’s favourite, “When are you planning to start a family?”, or being judged for life choices.
For teens and young adults, that can feel heavy.
There is also the aspect of social fatigue with how these interactions can literally and figuratively feel like they drag on for hours, especially for those that do not feel like talking.
That pressure makes skipping the family gathering all the more appealing.
Need for personal space, independence
As children grow into teens and then into young adults, they seek autonomy and privacy.
These are formative years whey they begin building their own identity, habits and priorities.
Long family gatherings intrude on that space and time.
The need to follow elders’ routines, from meal times to long conversations and eager relatives trying to stay informed about personal life, can clash with a young person’s desire for freedom and downtime.
Busy schedules, different rhythms
Teens and young adults juggle school, work, part-time jobs, social lives and personal projects.
Their daily rhythm may not match older adults’ schedules. A long weekend lunch or late-night family dinner may conflict with a work shift, study plan or simply their need to rest.
Over time, skipping such gatherings becomes a way to manage energy and time.
Digital life, peer connections
Many young people invest time in digital friendships, online communities, social media or remote work/study.
Their social circle and sense of belonging often lie outside the traditional family unit.
For them, hanging out with peers or staying online may feel more fulfilling than attending family gatherings that feel “forced”.
Avoiding outdated dynamics, judgement
Family gatherings may reproduce old patterns, such as someone acting like the “boss”, conflicts, gossip and lectures about life choices.
For teens or young adults building new values, these dynamics can feel stifling or archaic.
Avoiding gatherings becomes a way to protect mental well-being and avoid unnecessary judgment.
Emotional or mental-health protection
For a small minority, large gatherings may trigger stress or anxiety.
Social exhaustion, pressure to behave a certain way or previous bad experiences during family gatherings can make future ones unappealing.
Thus, these teens and young adults will opt to choosing fewer or shorter interactions to help preserve emotional balance.
With the above out of the way, for families that have noticed the younger generation in their family units doing one or more of the aforementioned, what can they do to help?
➤ Respect their time
Let teens or young adults know they do not have to stay the whole time.
➤ Offer flexible family gatherings
Shorter visits or casual meetups work better than long, formal dinners.
➤ Reduce social pressure
Avoid intrusive questions about personal life or plans. Understand boundaries when it comes to sensitive topics such as marriage or children.
➤ Mix in activities
Rather than sit-down dinners, do something casual, such as movie nights or have simple games.
➤ Understand their world
Respect that their social life and priorities may differ from older generations.
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