Young Malaysians turn to dating apps out of habit, finding convenience, burnout and occasional true love
PETALING JAYA: For many young Malaysians, dating apps have become less of a deliberate choice and more of a background habit.
They told theSun it is something they switch on and off depending on mood, energy and how their week looks.
Some describe it as convenience. Others call it boredom.
A few admit it feels like an emotional loop they cannot fully escape.
Public relations executive Deena Azuar, 26, remembers downloading the Coffee Meets Bagel app in January with almost no expectations.
“I downloaded the app mostly out of curiosity and not really expecting much. It was more of a ‘let’s see what happens’ kind of thing but I was still a little hopeful something could come out of it.
“I do go through phases where I delete and reinstall apps. Sometimes it’s because I want a break or I feel overwhelmed, and other times I reinstall apps when I’m curious or open to meeting someone new.
“Apps make it easier to meet people I wouldn’t normally encounter. On the other hand, the constant swiping and ghosting can be draining and a little discouraging emotionally.
“I also feel it depends on the app. I’ve heard that Tinder or Bumble can make it harder to find real connections though I’ve never used them myself.
“In the modern age dating apps feel like the way most people meet. Real-life meet-cutes aren’t as realistic as I’d hoped,” she said.
Still, her story ended in a way she never expected.
“I did find ‘the one’. It’s November now since I downloaded the app in January and we’re planning our wedding.
“It’s been incredible to see how something that started so casually turned into a serious, life-changing connection,” she added.
For others the experience tends to be more ambivalent.
Campaign coordinator Syauqi Shuhaimi, 26, first used dating apps in his early twenties after his friends recommended them.
“With the busy schedule of balancing work and free time you don’t have time to meet new people so dating apps benefit you from there.”
He approaches the platforms with low expectations, not out of pessimism but self-protection.
“If you view it as an app and nothing more it wouldn’t affect you negatively. If you put no expectation in the people you meet you won’t be disappointed.
“I’d say the biggest frustration of these apps today is dry texters but honestly I’d run out of ideas for conversations too,” he said.
He has yet to meet someone long-term but added that the people he has encountered “made life interesting”.
Meanwhile, others explained that their relationship with dating apps has become tied to phases of loneliness, vulnerability or emotional burnout.
Branding associate Azim, 26, said his use of dating apps began in 2018 and tends to spike during emotionally vulnerable periods.
“Most of the time I reinstall them when I’m bored or want affection. Usually it happens after a breakup and you’re looking for something to fill the void.
“It’s worse emotionally because the app gives you cheap validation. You start thinking a few matches show your worth.”.
For him, the draining part is the repetition.
“The energy of getting to know someone, opening up and repeating it gets tiring. If a match doesn’t fit you, move to another. If one fits you, ignore the others that you connected with. Somehow, it’s promoting cheating,” he added.
A 26-year-old marketing executive, who declined to be named, said she has been on dating apps since 2019 and has repeatedly deleted and reinstalled them throughout several relationships.
“When I formed a significant relationship, I would delete the apps. But after breaking up, I downloaded them again.
“After years of putting myself out there, it burnt me out mentally and emotionally. Talking to multiple people at once and dealing with the idea of being – or having – a choice became overwhelming.”
Despite the strain, she does not regret the friendships she formed through dating apps.
“There were good and bad ones, but I did make a few genuine friendships. I still haven’t found the one.”
