Veteran lawyer urges early legal advice and mediation to protect children and reduce long-term impact
PETALING JAYA: Divorce in Malaysia is not just an emotional challenge – it can be a complex and costly journey, particularly for families with children.
Courts prioritise children’s welfare, offering both parents equal rights to custody, care and control. Yet navigating the process remains daunting, warns Paramjothy Pahavan, solicitor with over 30 years’ experience and sole proprietor of Messrs P. Paramjothy & Co.
He stressed that early legal advice and mediation are crucial.
“Couples should understand their rights and responsibilities regarding custody, child maintenance and temporary financial support before situations escalate. Early preparation can prevent children from being left vulnerable during the transition.”
Paramjothy advises parents to start by assessing their household finances – including income, expenses, debts and children’s needs – to realistically gauge whether maintaining two households is feasible.
“Equally important is prioritising the child’s mental well-being. Parents should avoid conflict in front of children, maintain routines and never use children as messengers or leverage.
“Honest, age-appropriate communication reassures them that the separation is not their fault and that both parents still care for them.”
He warned that hasty decisions – such as abruptly moving, cutting off financial support, or restricting access without legal advice – can have long-lasting psychological effects and may weaken a parent’s legal standing. NGOs also play a vital role.
The Women’s Aid Organisation provides crisis support and legal guidance, while All Women’s Action Society offers free advice via its Telenita hotline. Sisters in Islam helps Muslim women on divorce and child support issues, Suriana Welfare Association empowers single mothers from low-income households and Yayasan Chow Kit assists families in dire circumstances.
“These organisations collectively help reduce the social and emotional impact of divorce by providing accessible support, counselling and legal guidance,” Paramjothy added.
Despite these safeguards, practical challenges persist, he said.
“Legal costs, court delays and difficulties in enforcing court orders often limit access for financially vulnerable parents. When a spouse fails to comply with a court order, enforcement options include garnishee applications or contempt proceedings, but these measures can be lengthy and stressful.”
Mediation, he added, is increasingly recognised worldwide as an effective tool for resolving family disputes and reducing the burden on courts.
“In Australia, parties are generally required to attempt dispute resolution before filing for divorce, except in cases involving domestic violence. In the United Kingdom, a mediation information and assessment meeting is a mandatory first step before most family court applications. In Malaysia, judicial-assisted mediation and Islamic court rulings offer negotiation avenues, but usage is voluntary and inconsistent.”
Paramjothy suggests making mediation the default first step – except in abuse or emergency cases – to cut legal costs, reduce court backlogs and protect children.
“For mediation to work, the government must ensure trained professional mediators, funded services, legal advice during mediation and strict adherence to agreements. Without these, mediation risks being a mere formality rather than a meaningful solution.”
Paramjothy said making mediation the default approach shifts the focus from ‘winning’ an argument to managing a social transition with dignity, pragmatism and in the best interest of the child.
“Courts should be the last resort. Family breakdown is not a battle to be won. It is a transition that must be handled with care, keeping children at the heart of the process.”
