Focus on the Family Malaysia shares five key steps to help overweight children adopt healthier habits without feeling singled out
Q: Do you have any advice for a parent of a pre-teen child who’s extremely overweight? I want to help him lose weight while he’s young before it becomes a serious problem later in life.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: It’s great that you want to see your child live a long and healthy life – starting now! Childhood obesity is a serious problem. Children who are clinically obese – an issue we’d encourage you to discuss with your family doctor – are at high risk for diabetes, heart disease, vascular disease, stroke, arthritis and early death. That’s not to mention the hit it puts on their self-esteem.
We suggest focusing on five things: 1) better nutritional choices; 2) an increase in physical activity; 3) eating meals together as a family; 4) better rest and recreation habits; and 5) wiser media choices.
It’s especially important to make this a family project. One of the first things we’d recommend is turning off the TV and begin taking walks in the evening. By working together your son won’t feel “singled out,” and it’s much more likely he’ll embrace the dramatic lifestyle changes he needs to make.
You can also maintain a degree of control over his caloric intake by packing him a nutritious lunch and by restricting money that might be used to buy unhealthy snacks from the school canteen or vending machines.
Most important, keep in mind that your child needs an overdose of your love and acceptance throughout this process.
Do everything you can to help him lose weight, but make it clear that your affections do not depend on his success in achieving that goal.
Q: Like a lot of guys, I’ve tried to surprise my wife only to have my best efforts crash and burn. I have an aversion to failure, so I’ve about decided to stop trying. Any advice before I throw in the towel?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Your experience reminds us of a guy most men can relate to. Wanting to find his wife the perfect gift for her 50th birthday, he kept hounding her for hints of what she’d like. Finally, in frustration, she told him, “I’d like something that goes from zero to two hundred in under four seconds.” Armed with that information, he bought her the most unforgettable gift she’d ever received: a brand-new weighing scale.
The truth is that most guys try hard, but most of the time, we just don’t know what our partners actually want or need. As time passes, many couples slip into a rut of predictability. Things that used to excite and thrill don’t produce the same reaction they once did. And when a marriage becomes routine, the passion wanes; couples can drift apart.
With this in mind, it’s important to understand that often the goal of surprising your wife is merely to find ways to keep injecting newness and freshness into your marriage. This can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or involve a little more daring and adventure, like taking an art class together or going to an amusement park.
You don’t have to go crazy with elaborate plans or spend lots of money to be spontaneous and do something unexpected. There’s no shame in smaller, heartfelt gestures. You’re only limited by your creativity or desire to save face. Ultimately, your mission is to affirm your wife, remind her of your love and commitment – and have fun living life together.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: [email protected]
