“Is it wrong to ask for a 20k dowry? My parents gave me a good education, a good job, and a comfortable life but I get a man who can’t afford to save.”
A Malaysian woman recently set social media abuzz after asking whether it was unreasonable to request a RM20,000 hantaran (dowry) from her future husband.
She explained that while her parents had provided her with a good education, a stable job, and a comfortable life, she felt conflicted because her prospective husband might struggle to save enough for the dowry.
“Is it wrong to ask for a 20k dowry? My parents gave me a good education, a good job, and a comfortable life, but I end up with a man who can’t afford to save,” she wrote.
She also attached a screenshot of a person asking her in return:
“RM20k dowry? What do you want to do with RM20k?
“Feel grand, feel great just for a day, when you have a family this and that won’t be enough.”
The post quickly drew reactions from netizens, with many supporting the woman and offering advice.
One user wrote:
“If he can’t afford it, find someone who can. One day, when you have children, you’ll need to buy strollers, baby cots, Raya outfits for you and the kids, and go on trips. You don’t want him giving excuses that he can’t afford it. Think carefully, don’t rush.”
Another added:
“Just find another man, sis. Me and people around me who’ve been married for a while usually have dowries around 25k, and it’s normal for us. People have different values and ideals — some are willing to give hundreds of thousands. No need to argue with a guy who doesn’t think you deserve it.”
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