Q: How can one revive the romance in a marriage? Despite being together for over 20 years, my husband and I still deeply love each other. However, our life has started
to feel mundane and repetitive. Please advise.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Many individuals enter marriage not for mundane routines of work, household chores and bill payments, but unfortunately end up doing those things. This is common in almost every marriage. After the excitement of the wedding fades, daily life settles into a routine filled with career pursuits, childcare responsibilities
and acquiring material possessions. Unfortunately, as these obligations take precedence, the initial spark of romance often diminishes.
What was once long conversations and frequent date nights may evolve into discussions solely focused on finances and children.
Over time, the emotional connections that initially bound the couple may dwindle.
Eventually, the couple may find themselves in a relationship devoid
of intimacy, resembling more of a business partnership. With so much energy dedicated to life’s mundane tasks, there is little left for nurturing the relationship.
In such circumstances, individuals may seek extramarital affairs or consider divorce in an attempt to reclaim lost romance.
However, it does not have to be this way. Rekindling romance in a marriage requires dedication and effort, similar to the commitment that brought you and your spouse together initially.
Reignite the spark by going on dates, pursuing shared interests or hobbies, cooking together, exercising as a couple, enjoying outdoor activities, attending concerts and expressing affection through love notes.
Rather than merely discussing ideal vacations, take concrete steps to
plan and budget for them together. Prioritise emotional connection and intimacy over the distractions of daily life, ensuring that the relationship remains vibrant and fulfilling.
Q: With my wife and I juggling hectic schedules, our time together is limited. To bridge the gap, we exchange “I love you” texts multiple times throughout the day. It is a small gesture but it helps us stay connected amid our busy lives. Will this help?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: While we commend you for your efforts, relying solely on “I love you” text messages may fall short in conveying the depth of your feelings.
Texts and emails certainly serve practical purposes, such as staying connected with loved ones or exchanging brief messages such as reminders to buy bread.
Undoubtedly, expressing love, no matter how it is conveyed, is a great sentiment, however, studies indicate that the most impactful expressions of love incorporate spoken words, body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. These human nuances cannot be fully replicated by electronic devices.
Studies affirm what we inherently understand: digital communication lacks the vitality and intimacy of face-to-face interaction.
To foster a deeply connected relationship, minimise reliance on your smartphone. Instead, prioritise spending physical time together whenever feasible.
Plan activities such as dinners or neighbourhood strolls. Engage in heartfelt conversations, share laughter and make eye contact.
Even when apart, opt for a phone call over texting whenever feasible to hear each other’s voices. Relationships thrive on genuine human interaction, where love is nurtured through warmth, intimacy and meaningful connections, not through sterile computer code.
This article is contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources,
including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my.
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