“FAKE it till you make it” – this is the kind of phrase you would expect from a
self-help seminar or a motivational Instagram post.
However, this could actually be a solid approach to life, especially when you are feeling stuck, lost or unsure of what you want to be.
The world today is moving fast – trends come and go, opinions shift overnight and the pressure to have it all figured out can feel overwhelming.
Everyone seems to be an expert at something, trying to live their “best life” while you are just trying to decide what to order for lunch.
This is exactly where the problem lies. Many people don’t know who they want to be. They scroll through social media, absorbing endless highlight reels of success and perfection and end up blindly following what is popular.
One day they want to be a fitness guru, the next a celebrity chef-cum-entrepreneur, then a travel vlogger, a food critic and reviewer, and before they know it, they are back to square one – still unsure, still searching for answers that they believe is “out” there somewhere.
Let’s simplify things and focus just on one thing.
Pick your path and walk it
If you are struggling with what you want in life, stop waiting for clarity to magically appear. Pick something that speaks to you – even if it’s just a whisper of an idea – and start acting as if you are already on that path.
Want to be a writer? Start writing. Want to be a leader? Start leading. Want to be a more confident person? Start behaving like one. You don’t need permission. You don’t need an official title. You just need to start.
Think of it this way: when a young doctor starts practising medicine, they don’t feel like a doctor right away.
They may even experience imposter syndrome, questioning whether they’re good enough. However, day after day, patient after patient, they become a doctor – not just in title but in skill and confidence. The same applies to any role in life. You grow into it by doing.
This idea is not just some feel-good advice; there is actual psychology behind it. The self-perception theory proposed by psychologist Daryl Bem in 1972 suggests that we form our identities based on our behaviours. In other words, if you start acting like the person you want to become, your brain begins to accept it as reality.
There is also the Pygmalion effect – the idea that higher expectations lead to higher performance. If you expect to succeed in something and behave accordingly, chances are you will start meeting those expectations. It is not magic; it is psychology.
Some may say: “Isn’t this just pretending?” Well, no. Pretending is putting on a false front for others. “Faking it till you make it” is about putting yourself through the process of growth.
Compare it to social media, where many people are actually pretending. They post filtered versions of their lives, carefully curating an image they want others to see but the problem is they aren’t living it and they aren’t growing into that person, they are just crafting
an illusion.
That is not what we are doing here. What I’m talking about is consciously stepping into a role, taking small, consistent actions every day and allowing yourself to become what you set out to be. There is a huge difference.
The tricky part is not trying to start;
it is staying the course. Sticking to your path when things get hard, when self-doubt creeps in and when results don’t show up immediately – that is the test.
The ones who make it in any field and in any aspect of life are not necessarily the most talented. They are just the ones who did not quit.
Look at any successful person – athletes, artists or entrepreneurs – they did not wake up one day with all the answers, they started somewhere, likely feeling unqualified and unsure but they showed up day after day until what once felt like faking it became second nature.
Whatever it is you want – pick it, commit to it and stay at it because one day without even realising it, you will look back and see that you made it.
That is when you will know that you were not faking it after all – you were just becoming.
Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a
professor of biomedical engineering and the principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya.
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