A Malay Muslim student struggles as her American housemate constantly brings her boyfriend over, sparking online debate about boundaries
EVERY friendship has its limits, and if you push too far, you could lose a friend.
The two met on Discord and have been housemates for two semesters, but tensions arose after her housemate started a relationship.
“She often brings her boyfriend over, and he just hangs out in the living room, eats our snacks, and sometimes even stays for a couple of days,” she explained.
Despite raising her concerns multiple times, her roommate brushed them off.
“She always says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll just tell them he’s my boyfriend if anyone reports.’ But that’s not the point!”
The student, who lives in a majority Malay neighbourhood, was also worried about appearances.
“Our neighbours are mostly Malays, and I’m Muslim. I just can’t imagine what they think, especially during this holy month. It doesn’t look good for me.”
The situation escalated when she began hearing them being intimate every night. Frustrated, she finally drew a line.
“The house is under my dad’s name, so I felt a little entitled. I told her, either she goes to his place or she moves out. I’ve given plenty of chances and warnings. I just can’t stand having a housemate like this anymore.”
After days of arguing, she admits feeling guilty but still questions who’s being inconsiderate.
“Isn’t she supposed to be a little considerate of me? Or am I the one being unreasonable?” she asked netizens for advice.
Online commenters weighed in, with one praising her for standing up for herself despite being a self-described “people pleaser.”
FaythKnight noted, “Couples being intimate is fine, but respecting the environment matters. Even I get pissed when my own family treats my house like a hotel. Have some decency.”
Others pointed out cultural differences. IfItAintSophieClarke explained that as her roommate is American, she may not understand Malaysia’s modest social norms.
“They go by their own rules. You have to set your boundaries here. You can sit them down and say, ‘You’re in Malaysia, in my father’s house, I’m Muslim, and you can’t bring boys over here. You can Netflix and chill at a hotel. You and your boyfriend can afford it.’”
