WE are bombarded with information about the “youth” of today being rude, ungrateful and selfish. But what about our ageing population?
American moral and social philosopher, Eric Hoffer once said: “Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
The incident of a young cashier being yelled and cursed at by a couple who were in their 50s at a supermarket in Shah Alam recently, just tells us the display of disrespect by not complying with the social norms or etiquette of a group or culture is age subjective.
It was the express lane cashier which could handle not more than 10 items per-transaction, as the couple were unloading their shopping trolly onto the counter conveyor, the young cashier made a polite request for them to go to the regular cashier.
But the elderly couple took offence and threw back a series of loud expletives at the young cashier. This was not going to end well.
It is easy to lose grip on how loud we can be and a quiet nudge should be all it takes to fall back into the boundaries of universal good manners.
The couple went ballistic. Curse words were spitted out by the wife and physical-threatening gestures were demonstrated by the husband to the young cashier.
As the cashier was relieved by the supervisor on duty, the screaming and cursing did not stop.
As the young cashier was walking away to let the situation cool down, the lady customer was cursing and verbally threatening the young cashier.
It was an ugly scene to watch. The couple had caused an almighty din, seemingly oblivious as they were in a shared space. It was rude, ignorant and inconsiderate.
It was an undignified spectacle by people old enough to know better and, even if their good manners had temporarily slipped, should have had the self-control to diffuse the situation.
Sure, the customer is always right. This does not mean the customer has to be rude, heartless, or completely amoral.
The money you fork over is divided between several recipients.
The cashier is a conduit to the management, but does that mean you should take everything out on them? No.
Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era. I still say “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me”, even though this etiquette seems to have gone out of style.
And I still stand aside and wait for others to exit an elevator before entering, even though this gesture is often not reciprocated.
Rudeness is a contagious behaviour that spreads rapidly. Rudeness begets rudeness.
And the act of being rude or being the recipient of rude behaviour can impede productivity, emotions and overall health.
Coarse language has become part of the public discourse and does not even surprise us anymore, even in Parliament the language of courtesy is diminished.
Parliamentary sessions have become screaming and demeaning matches. Contempt for authority is prevalent.
Some even crossed the line by asking nosy questions about personal finances which can quickly push a friendly discussion into an awkward or inappropriate territory.
Even worse is when the answers to such questions about money lead to resentment, judgment or unwelcome advice.
And let’s face it that using public toilets in Malaysia can be a traumatic incident, be it the ones in your workplace, shopping malls, parks or mosques.
The public toilets in Malaysia are always putrid and atrociously grimy because of the mind set that someone will clean up after them.
The way people treat public restrooms says a lot about how they feel about other people. It’s truly repulsive.
Alexander “Sandy” McCall Smith, British-Zimbabwean writer and Emeritus Professor of Medical Law at the University of Edinburgh once said: “Manners are the basic building blocks of civil society.”
But unfortunately, I can say that slowly but irreversibly we find ourselves living in an increasingly impolite society.
I believe the whole country wants civility. But why are we not having it when it does not cost us anything; no federal funding and no legislation involved?
The answer to that is the unwillingness to restrain oneself.
As articulated by Judith Martin, American journalist, author, and etiquette authority: “Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others”.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
