THE dream of becoming parents is a fundamental part of human life. However, for some couples, the path to parenthood is filled with challenges that test their patience and emotional strength.
Infertility, often a quiet and deeply personal struggle, can leave couples feeling an overwhelming sense of emptiness and loss.
This emptiness is not just sadness; it is a deep emotional gap that can cause significant stress if left unaddressed.
The journey through infertility is complex and requires understanding and support from society, family, and most importantly, the couples themselves.
For couples facing infertility, the experience can be emotionally draining, bringing feelings of guilt, frustration and isolation.
Many feel a sense of failure, questioning their ability to fulfil what they see as a basic part of marriage and adulthood.
Often, this guilt is internalised, with one or both partners blaming themselves or their bodies for not meeting expectations.
Frustration grows with each unsuccessful attempt to conceive, turning a hopeful journey into a prolonged ordeal.
Seeing friends, siblings or colleagues easily build their families can intensify feelings of inadequacy and being left behind.
This comparison fosters deep loneliness as it seems like others cannot truly understand their struggles.
The process of trying to conceive is often physically and emotionally exhausting.
Fertility treatments, while offering hope, come with high costs - both financial and emotional.
Hormonal therapies can affect mood and energy, while medical procedures can be invasive and stressful.
Each treatment cycle feels like a gamble and repeated failures can sap the couple’s energy and resolve.
Adding to these personal struggles is the weight of societal expectations.
In many communities, especially in Malaysia, having children is considered essential to a successful marriage and family life.
Couples often face intrusive questions such as “When are you having a baby?” or unsolicited advice on what they “should be doing”.
While sometimes well-meaning, these remarks can feel like painful reminders of their challenges.
Worse, some couples encounter judgment or stigma as if infertility reflects a personal failing.
Older relatives may express disappointment and societal norms may perpetuate harmful ideas, such as linking a woman’s worth to her ability to bear children.
These pressures amplify a couple’s anxiety, making it even harder to cope.
Infertility can also strain relationships, even in strong marriages.
Differences in how each partner copes, unmet expectations and poor communication can create conflicts.
One partner may withdraw emotionally, while the other internalises blame.
This often leads to cycles of misunderstanding and resentment.
However, these challenges can also strengthen relationships.
Open communication, empathy and a willingness to share emotions can help couples turn adversity into growth.
When they navigate this journey together, they often emerge with a deeper bond and greater resilience.
For many couples, infertility brings a profound sense of loss, not just of the chance to become parents but of the future they had imagined.
Watching others celebrate pregnancies and milestones can deepen feelings of inadequacy and isolation, leading them to question their worth.
The societal pressures surrounding childbearing add another layer of complexity.
In cultures such as Malaysia, having children is seen as central to personal and marital fulfilment.
Couples often face invasive questions, unsolicited advice or even judgment. These external pressures make it harder to reconcile personal struggles with societal expectations.
Beyond the emotional toll, infertility often imposes financial and physical burdens.
Fertility treatments are expensive and physically demanding, involving hormonal therapies and invasive procedures.
Many couples endure a relentless cycle of hope and disappointment, with no guarantee of success.
Despite these challenges, couples who face them together often build stronger, more understanding relationships.
Empathy, mutual support and open communication are key to navigating the emotional ups and downs.
A call for understanding
Infertility is more than a medical condition; it is an emotional and social experience that affects every part of life.
Recognising its many dimensions is crucial to offering meaningful support.
By fostering awareness and compassion, society can help lighten the burden and remind couples that their value is not defined by their ability to have children.
With empathy, understanding and proper support, the journey through infertility can become one of resilience, growth and hope.
Assoc Prof Dr Azmawaty
Mohamad Nor and Nurfarahira
Ahmad Yaccob are from the Faculty of Education in Universiti
Malaya. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
