PARENTHOOD, a role as ancient as humanity, has undergone multi-faceted evolutions shaped by sociocultural, economic and tech-nological shifts.
Historically, each generation has formulated its parenting paradigms based on prevailing societal norms, personal experiences and available resources.
The current generation of parents, informed by retrospective evaluations of their upbringings and the surfeit of information available today, often finds itself grappling with the intricate task of redefining child-rearing practices.
Changing the tides
Why this profound desire for change? Factors abound: evolving societal norms, greater awareness of mental health, exposure to global cultures and parenting styles and the rapid rise of technology, to name a few.
Unlike previous generations that often followed a more “one-size-fits-all” approach, today’s parents are swimming in a sea of choices, making it harder for them to identify the “right” way.
Reconciling with the past
For many, the resolve to parent differently comes from personal experiences. They may want to avoid the strictness, emotional distance or other perceived flaws they felt in their upbringing. But this can mean dealing with unresolved personal issues that can interfere with their current parenting methods if unchecked.
Information overload
Thanks to technology, parents have unprecedented access to a plethora of parenting philosophies, techniques and expert opinions. But this wealth of information can often lead to analysis paralysis or incessant self-doubt.
Societal pressure
While society has evolved, vestiges of traditional expectations remain. Parents wanting to break the mould often face pressure or even judgement from their own parents, peers or society at large.
Balancing tradition and modernity
How does one incorporate valuable aspects of traditional parenting while integrating newer ideas? This tightrope walk can often feel like a Herculean task.
Suggestions for the brave new parent
Reflect, do not reject: The impulse to deviate from the parenting patterns of one’s childhood is a natural aspect of generational evolution. It is crucial to understand that the strategies employed by our parents were often products of their times, influenced by societal norms, personal experiences and available knowledge.
By acknowledging this, we cultivate a sense of gratitude and empathy, recognising their efforts and intentions. This reflective stance not only bridges generational gaps but also allows one to sift through past practices with discernment, selectively adopting those that resonate with contemporary values while graciously setting aside others.
Trust yourself: In an era saturated with information, parents are often inundated with diverse and occasionally conflicting advice on child-rearing. While expert opinions and research can offer invaluable insights, it is paramount for parents to cultivate and rely on their intuitive understanding of their child’s unique needs and temperament.
Each child is an individual, and no scholarly article or expert can know them as intimately as their parents.
Open dialogue: The foundation of effective parenting often rests upon open and transparent communication. As one embarks on the journey of child-rearing, ensuring alignment with one’s partner becomes paramount.
Through regular discussions, parents can synchronise their approaches, share observations and jointly navigate challenges, ensuring a cohesive environment for the child. Beyond the immediate familial unit, initiating dialogues with the preceding generation – one’s parents – is equally essential.
This dialogue will not only foster understanding but also allow parents to glean insights from the past while contextualising them for the present.
Seek community: Historically, the adage “it takes a village to raise a child” has held profound significance. In today’s fragmented societies, where nuclear families often operate in isolation, the importance of a supportive community cannot be overstated.
Whether it is online forums, local parent support groups or close-knit circles of friends and family, finding a community provides an opportunity for shared learning, mutual support and validation.
Engaging in such communities will not only foster a sense of belonging but also provide a platform for collective problem-solving and camaraderie.
Stay flexible: As children grow and evolve, so too must the approaches parents employ. Their experiences, stages of development and external influences will continuously mould them, necessitating parents to be agile in their responses.
Rigidity in methods or expectations can often lead to frustration and missed opportunities for growth for the child and the parent. Adopting a flexible mindset, one that is receptive to change and adaptive to unforeseen challenges, is crucial. This ability to pivot and adjust will not only ensure that parents remain relevant and effective in their roles but also serve as a model for children.
Self-care: The demands of modern parenting, coupled with professional responsibilities and personal aspirations, can exert immense pressure on parents. Regular self-care, be it through physical activities, meditation, hobbies or periods of rest, will ensure that parents can approach their duties with rejuvenated energy and clarity.
Furthermore, by prioritising their well-being, parents can inadvertently model the importance of self-care and mental health to their children, embedding these values for the next generation. The desire to offer a different childhood than one’s own is a testament to the ever-evolving nature of parenthood.
While this path is riddled with its unique set of challenges, it is also a journey of profound discovery, not just of your child, but of yourself. Embrace it with an open heart, armed with the wisdom of the past and the promise of the future.
The writer is a Certified Mental Health and Awareness Practitioner specialising in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
