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No arguing, no taking turns: How Chinese families handle CNY differently from Hari Raya

Chinese New Year reunion dinners follow a clear order, even when all daughters are married, unlike the back-and-forth visits common during Hari Raya.

DURING Hari Raya, many Malay families debate over whose house to visit first — the husband’s or the wife’s.

For Chinese families, the approach is far more straightforward, as @nrulmuhaimin explains on Threads.

“In Chinese tradition, there’s no concept of alternating visits. On the first day, you must visit the husband’s family, then the wife’s family.

“So if there are no sons and all daughters are married, usually during the reunion dinner only the parents remain,” she wrote.

The post responded to @anemo_ne10, who asked, “Question for my Chinese friends… During Eid, families often alternate visits. For example, this year you visit the wife’s family first, next year the husband’s. For Chinese New Year, during the yee sang, do families alternate visits as well?”

Several commenters shared their experiences when daughters are married.

@yanascarlett said, “I once asked a friend who had no brothers and her sister was married. She said her sister would attend the reunion dinner at her husband’s family first, then after dinner go to the reunion at her own parents’ house.

“Two reunion dinners in one night, so the husband’s side has theirs a little earlier and the wife’s side later, after 8pm. Both families live in the same district, so this arrangement works.”

@themundane.mama added, “In my family, all the girls are married, and my younger brother works in Japan. I live far away and my husband is Malay, so whenever I asked for leave during CNY, it was always rejected. Only the grandparents’ generation attend the reunion dinner.”

Others emphasised how parents can take the initiative instead.

@thundermiao noted, “Parents can just go to their daughter’s house,” while @moekhaliqfarhan said, “Parents have a car, right? They can go visit their child! Children have been going home regularly all this time. Now it’s the parents’ turn to visit their children living elsewhere.”

For families with only daughters, reunion dinners follow a clear structure, without the arguments or alternating turns that are common during Hari Raya.

As @labeltudungdanbaju observed, “Pity parents with only daughters. Once the children are married, it’s just the parents left.”

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