NO one wants to burden others. We all want to be independent and self-sufficient.
However, sometimes we have no choice but to rely on others for support.
The aged and sick depend on family members and caregivers for assistance due to their physical immobility.
I remember my late father, who, in his 90s, was determined not to burden his family.
Despite the challenges of basic tasks such as sitting up and getting out of the sofa or bed, I have endeavoured to manage them independently.
Bathing, brushing teeth, shaving and dressing proved to be monumental tasks. Yet, he refused assistance in doing such chores.
He has devised ways to stand up and sit down on his own. It was painful watching him go through the motions.
He insisted on feeding himself even though he had a mild case of Parkinson’s disease. He refused to be spoon-fed by my mother or my wife.
He ate at his own pace, troubling no one, even washing his plate.
His philosophy and mantra were simple – he did not want to burden anyone, and this attitude was ingrained in him from young.
Even at the age of 93, he was robust, healthy and full of life. He had no known medications and was never on any prescribed medication.
He hardly went to the hospital for check-ups.
He never smoked, gave up drinking after a spiritual awakening in his 50s and adopted a healthy lifestyle.
After his retirement, the only thing he did regularly was brisk walking. I have walked like Forest Gump, in the mornings and evenings.
He did not go to the parks to walk but walked around the neighborhood where we stayed.
He would walk to the post office, the supermarket, the mamak stall, the market, Pasar Malam and town.
After a fall in his 90’s, he walked with the help of a walker.
At the age of 93, after two days of admission to the hospital, he passed away. He was frail and thin.
The hospital attendants who came to transfer his body from the hospital bed to the wheeled gurney talked about his light weight.
Even in death, he was not a burden to anyone, even to the pallbearers.
I pray and hope that I too will not be a burden to anyone.
Sometimes life presents harsh challenges, making us reliant on our family. Such circumstances are often beyond our control.
However, we can control the course of our lives in many instances and determine how life can turn out. This can shape our destiny.
So stay safe and healthy.
