Q: My three-year-old is captivated by villains, always adopting their roles during pretend play. He prefers action figures of antagonists despite our efforts to alter the movie and television choices. How should we address this fascination?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: There is no need for excessive concern regarding your son’s fascination with villains as many children go through this phase. Making a big issue out of it may prolong the phase as your son may thrive on the attention, even if it is negative.
Children seek attention, whether positive or negative, especially if they feel neglected.
The best approach is to downplay the villain interest and focus on affirming your son’s positive interests. However, if he starts mimicking the behaviour of evil characters in inappropriate ways, it is crucial to address it promptly. Do not allow him to become aggressive or hurtful in interactions with you, his siblings or other children.
On a positive note, you can use fictional characters to teach your child about virtuous traits. Create a contrast between good and
bad characters, discussing qualities such as honesty and helpfulness.
Redirecting the conversation towards positive virtues can be an effective way to guide your son toward more constructive interests.
Q: I entered into marriage with my husband for pragmatic reasons, believing he would be a great father to my child as a single mother. However, I have come to realise that I never had romantic feelings for him. Is there hope for our relationship?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Yes, there is hope. You can learn to love your husband with the kind of love that lasts. You can cultivate a lasting love for your husband, akin to the enduring love found in arranged marriages. Couples in arranged marriages learn to love each other although their relationships are not based on romantic feelings.
Real love is not primarily about emotions, it is an act of will. Feelings generally
follow intentional actions, growing from commitment, perseverance and hard work.
Furthermore, your question suggests a seed of hope. Even if that emotional connection has faded, there must have been something that led you to believe life with him would be better. This is important.
Reflect on what initially attracted you to your husband. Both of you must have felt an emotional connection at some level. Perhaps, it was the kindness he showed toward your child. You just have to be patient and work on it because it is worth the effort.
While the spark may have dimmed, it can still be rediscovered and nurtured into a flame with effort, patience and a willingness to work on the relationship. The endeavour will be worth it.
The article was contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia,
a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional
counselling services, to the community.
For more information, visit family.org.my.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
