THERE are places a man should never go, and one is the realm of breastfeeding.
Short of being a doctor, a man has no place offering comments, solicited or otherwise, on the biological functions of a woman’s body, breastfeeding included.
A Twitter user’s recent interjection in an online forum on the subject of milk for babies touched a raw nerve for some mothers who were having problems in that department.
The problem is that this is not a one-off incident, according to Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman lecturer, assistant professor Dr Sharon Wilson.
Women have had to put up with some form of mansplaining – defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “the explanation of something by a man, typically to a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronising” – at least once or twice in their lives.
“Many would see this as a small matter or a foolish act by the man but in truth, it creates a sense of doubt in the woman and it renders her silent or voiceless,” she told theSun.
Wilson said mansplaining is essentially a dumbing-down of information on the assumption that women cannot process complex information.
A good example is the “advice”, given by a man, that women should focus on breastfeeding rather than work, in a Twitter thread on the subject.
This paved the way for many other people to weigh in with sexist comments and unwarranted opinions on breastfeeding and motherhood.
Twitter user @4M30W recalled the pain she had to endure during her breastfeeding months.
“My supply started to drop after I had a series of long meetings at work and I couldn’t find the time to pump on time. I still vividly remember crying while pumping to make sure there was enough milk as I was afraid my baby would starve but I still couldn’t,” she tweeted.
She went on to recount how she ended up bleeding in her attempt to pump milk.
Writer Shafiqah Othman also chipped in with her experience.
“This brings back so many painful memories. I have never felt so useless as a mother until I had a sharp decrease in my milk supply.”
She added in her tweet that the worst part was having to focus on her new job while trying to produce as much milk as her child needed.
Another Twitter user, @h1jabae said mothers who could not breastfeed due to low pain tolerance or any reason, should not be criticised by a person of the opposite gender, especially in such a condescending manner.
“Do you think mothers are happy when they realise they cannot breastfeed their baby? Men and their audacity,” she tweeted.
Wilson agreed that anyone could weigh in on one’s struggles or issues but what the man has to remember is that it should be done tactfully.
“Unless you have walked in those same shoes, there is no way you will understand. Never assume you can pass a comment thinking you hold the key to the gateway of knowledge.
“Passing tactless comments like this only unravels your true self – that of being uninformed of the struggles of women,” she said.
Wilson added that parents could start by teaching their children gender-neutral communications skills and set good examples themselves.
