Q: I have been out of university for four years, and I see many of my peers getting everything they want – good jobs, nice homes, world travel, etc. Yet, they still seem unhappy, at least from my perspective. Am I weird for wanting to take things slower?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: We live in a world that is moving too fast, with constant reminders of it all around us. From microwaves and fast food to computers and mobile phones. We have grown accustomed to easy and immediate results.
The demand to produce more in less time is increasing, and the essential elements for living a well-rounded life are being stripped away. This leads to real problems.
The first problem is an attitude of impatience and entitlement. Our society demands instant gratification, forgetting that true success cannot be rushed. It often requires hard work over time.
When people lose sight of this, they take shortcuts to achieve maximum results with minimal effort.
Take, for example, athletes caught in doping scandals or individuals seeking to lose weight without proper diet or exercise. The list of such shortcuts goes on.
A second problem with instant gratification is that it weakens our character. Achieving success gradually allows us to develop as individuals. As our character strengthens, so does our ability to handle success.
Many people have raced to the top, only to lose it all because they lacked the character needed to handle the responsibility that success demands. The faster our world moves, the more diligent we must be in not only pursuing success but in character as well. As one writer put it: “We all want to be, but few of us are willing to become.”
So, are you “weird”? No – we think you
are wise.
Q: What is your opinion on paying school-aged children for doing household tasks? As a child, I always received an allowance for doing my chores. However, my husband believes children should work without being paid, saying it is simply part of being a family.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: There is no right or wrong answer here. Some parents choose to give an allowance while others pay their children for specific chores. Still, others do not pay anything at all but give their children money for purchases based on their overall attitude and helpfulness.
Whatever approach you choose, it is important to remember that one of your major goals is to prepare your children to live in the “real world” – the world of work, taxes, giving and investments. In that world, no one is going to pay them for making their beds or taking out the trash.
However, they will be paid for tasks like managing a group of employees, making a delivery on time or successfully selling a pair of shoes to a demanding customer.
With that in mind, here is our suggestion. Children should do certain tasks around the house simply because they are part of the family. This can include responsibilities, such as taking care of their rooms, picking up their toys, helping to prepare meals, washing
their own clothes, and yes, even taking out
the garbage.
On the other hand, it is fine to pay children for chores that demand more time and energy – household tasks that “go beyond the call of duty”. This may include activities like mowing the lawn, washing the car, or, in the case of a responsible teenager, babysitting a younger brother or sister for an entire Saturday afternoon.
One final note: helping children learn how
to give, save and spend their money is just as important as teaching them how to earn it.
This article is contributed by Focus on the
Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional
counselling services, to the community.
For more information, visit family.org.my.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
