Q: I have always wanted to be a positive influence on others. I used to have time to volunteer, but since my wife became ill last year, I no longer have the capacity. How can I still make an impact while most of my energy goes toward caring for her?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Let us emphasise that you are likely making a bigger impact on others than you realise.
One husband recounted that after breaking his ankle in a motorcycle ancident, he was confined to his bed or chair for weeks. His wife had to help him with everything, from getting a glass of water to going up the stairs. During this time, he realised that simple requests can become a burden when someone is needed all day, every day. And in his case, it was only for 13 weeks.
That is why our hearts go out to those caring for an ill spouse. Your love and commitment are truly inspiring. Every day, you honour your marriage by taking on your spouse’s struggles as your own.
You are also showing us how to respond with love and grace when life does not go as planned. No couple can truly understand what “in sickness and in health” means until one of you falls ill.
And you won’t grasp the depth of “for better or for worse” until your spouse does something difficult or unlovable, and you choose to remain committed to your marriage regardless.
Sooner or later, we all have to answer the question, “What is my marriage really about?” The couples who endure are the ones who say, “Marriage is about commitment when it counts, and love put into action”.
So, thank you – by caring for an ill spouse, you remind the rest of us what it means to truly honour a marriage. That is a powerful influence.
Q: Is it normal for our teenage son to be so focused on his appearance? He is not only editing his selfies but also becoming anxious about his physique.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Most of us are aware that body image is a significant issue for teenage girls. However, many parents may not realise that an increasing number of teenage boys are also vulnerable to body image struggles. Studies are tracing this growing problem to a cultural shift in recent decades that has redefined the ideal male body image. Professional athletes are bigger and stronger than they have ever been.
Hollywood used to depict superheroes as average guys in spandex, but now they are often portrayed by bodybuilders or even entirely computer-generated.
Today’s teenage boys are also influenced by social media and the marketing machine, fuelling the multi-billion-dollar fitness industry.
The problem is not that teenage boys are aspiring for a level of physical fitness that is currently beyond them. An improvement in diet and exercise can be a great choice.
But, as with girls, problems can arise when boys commit too much of their time, resources and emotional well-being to chasing results that may be unattainable.
If your son wants to go to the gym, do not discourage him. However, be aware that body image issues are not limited to girls. Watch for signs of extreme dieting, rapid weight loss or excessive fatigue from spending too much time at the gym. Most importantly, help your son to set reasonable boundaries to encourage a healthy balance between his overall well-being and his body image.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. Our signature bonding event for married couples, “Date Night”, is back on Saturday, Oct 5. Join us to create unforgettable memories that will deepen your bond and intimacy as husband and wife. Register at family.org.my/datenight. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
