DURING a recent lunch, our table topic veered towards our colleague, a young woman engineer who is known for her capabilities but with a reputation that isn’t as favourable among her fellow colleagues.
She is often described as rude, aggressive and aloof. I could not help but wonder: What is the basis for such superficial allegations? Is it her gender?
In any professional environment, leadership requires a combination of confidence, skill and vision. However, for many women, the path to success is often riddled with contradictions. Be assertive, but not too much. Speak up, but not too loudly. Lead, but in a way that makes others comfortable.
These conflicting expectations have led to a phenomenon where a woman in a position of authority, particularly in male-dominated industries, can be perceived as aggressive, unlikeable or difficult despite exhibiting the same leadership traits that are praised in her male counterparts.
The scrutiny of my young colleague is a telling reminder of the double standards that persist in workplaces.
While a man with a strong personality is seen as a decisive leader, a woman demonstrating the same qualities is often labelled as abrasive.
This raises an important question: Should a woman conform to these biased expectations or should she remain true to herself and lead with knowledge and wisdom? The answer is clear: leadership should not be about adopting an unnatural persona to appease others.
A woman should not feel pressured to soften her stance to be acceptable or adopt unreasonable behaviour to compete with her male colleagues. Instead, she should focus on commanding respect through expertise, strategic thinking and fair decision-making.
In many Asian societies, leadership and authority have historically been associated with men. Traditional values in cultures such as those in China, Japan, India and Malaysia often emphasise respect for hierarchy and collectivism.
Many women still face the expectations of adhering to traditional feminine virtues, which can be at odds with the demands of modern leadership.
In some cases, successful female leaders in Asia have adopted a leadership style that blends authority with cultural expectations, balancing decisiveness with diplomacy. This allows them to be accepted while still maintaining their influence.
In Western societies, particularly in the US and Europe, leadership expectations have also been historically male-dominated, but the feminist movements of the 20th and 21st centuries have made significant strides in challenging these norms. Women are increasingly seen in political, corporate and entrepreneurial leadership roles.
However, even in progressive societies, gender biases persist. Studies have shown that women in leadership are more likely to receive negative feedback on their communication style compared to men.
A well-documented phenomenon known as the “likeability trap” highlights how women leaders are expected to be warm and communal, whereas men in leadership can afford to be more assertive without fear of social backlash.
The notion that men and women must be in constant competition is outdated. Leadership should not be a battle of personalities but a synergy of strengths.
Men and women bring different perspectives to the table, and these differences should complement rather than compete against each other.
A workplace where collaboration is prioritised over hierarchy creates an environment where both men and women can thrive without feeling the need to conform to outdated stereotypes.
Women do not need to become extreme versions of themselves to be recognised. Strength does not have to mean harshness, and assertiveness does not require rudeness.
True leadership is about balancing firmness with fairness and decisiveness with consideration. It is about setting high standards while maintaining a professional and collaborative work ethic.
The best leaders, regardless of gender, are those who rule with wisdom rather than dominance.
In this context, the much-touted term, inclusivity, is at the heart of dismantling gender biases in leadership. A workplace that embraces inclusivity recognises that leadership is not defined by gender but by skills, experience and vision.
True inclusivity allows diverse leadership styles to thrive without the pressure of conforming to outdated gender norms.
Prioritising inclusivity allows women to be both likeable and effective without having to choose between the two.
Inclusive workplaces ensure that leadership opportunities are based on merit, not societal expectations of how a woman or a man should behave. This involves actively challenging stereotypes, addressing unconscious biases and fostering a culture where all employees, regardless of gender, feel valued and supported in their leadership journey.
Having said that, it is not surprising that a personality like President Donald Trump does not believe in the term or the concept inclusivity. His notion on this topic is divisive, particularly regarding gender, race and workplace equity.
His leadership style, which favours directness and competition, contrasts with the more collaborative and inclusive leadership models we are discussing here.
However, let us be reminded that inclusivity is not a political agenda, but a necessary shift for workplaces to ensure that leadership is based on ability rather than outdated gender norms.
Mentorship plays a key role in this scheme of things. Female leaders who have navigated these challenges can help the next generation of women in leadership by providing guidance, support and reassurance that strength does not have to mean isolation.
Theories remain elusive unless they are brought to the table through meaningful dialogue and actionable steps. If you are a woman in the workplace reading this, your voice matters; use it to drive change today.
Dr Bhavani Krishna Iyer holds a doctorate in English literature. Her professional background encompasses teaching, journalism and public relations. She is currently pursuing a second master’s degree in counselling. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
