IT is not uncommon for one partner in a relationship to earn significantly more than the other. And that earning gap can sometimes contribute to conflict and surface feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.
An anonymous woman took to Facebook page, Tips Persiapan Kahwin (TPK), to share her dilemma about her partner who is suddenly earning more than her.
She began by explaining that her partner initially started out with a basic salary of RM2,000 to RM3,000 and that her net salary was RM2,600.
After paying off her commitments, the woman was left with a meagre RM300 to RM400 to survive on a monthly basis.
And her partner never once questioned her salary, instead, he always looked for ways to increase his income.
However, things took a turn when her partner found a job that paid him RM5,000 to RM6,000 and soon began pushing her to find a job that would pay her a higher salary.
Her partner’s reasoning was that when he succeeds, he wants his woman to succeed as well.
“He doesn’t want me to depend on him. He doesn’t want people to come to the conclusion that if he’s not around one day, she is nothing, useless.
“When his salary increased, he even told me that he sees that I have no future. Useless. That is why he has asked me to hunt for other jobs,” the woman lamented.
The woman added that her partner later on apologised for his harsh words and that he did not mean to put her down, but the words were meant for encouragement.
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“I’m not sure if his way is right or if it’s about how I perceive things, whether in a positive or negative light. I feel like we’re not on the same level anymore.
If I say that, he might respond with, “You should think about rising together, not staying put. If you don’t want to change your fate, who else will?” wondered the woman.
The post has since attracted a lot of attention from Facebook users who felt like her partner’s words were condescending and advised the woman to move on from the relationship.
“Hmm, just find someone else. He’s only earning 6k and already acting like he’s making 20k a month. Trying to belittle his partner. When he was struggling before, didn’t he realise that his partner was supporting him?
“Such an ungrateful person. Once you become a husband, it’s your responsibility to provide for your wife. No matter how much she earns, you are the one who has to support her financially. You can’t touch a single cent of her money. It makes me angry reading this,” commented a netizen.
“Earning RM5,000 to RM6,000 and he’s already like this? This isn’t just a red flag, it’s a whole red sea. People earning RM20,000 are fine with their wives staying at home with no income or just working as teachers for RM2,000 or RM3,000 a month and that’s enough,” said another.
What do you think? Was her partner being motivational or was it a form of gaslighting?
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