A Malaysian woman’s heartbreaking experience of being left alone to care for her ageing parents has sparked outrage online, after she shared her story anonymously on XUAN’s Facebook page.
Despite growing up in a moderately comfortable family with two older brothers, the woman—who remains unmarried and still lives with her parents—revealed she’s been left to shoulder the entire burden of caregiving.
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“Now that my parents are getting older, my mother has become less mobile and is unable to take care of herself.
“My father’s health is also declining—he’s in and out of the hospital. Since I still live with them, the responsibility of caring for them naturally falls on me.
“Outside of work, all my time goes into looking after them. I can’t even enjoy my weekends freely. Every time they need to go for check-ups or hospital visits, I have to take leave to accompany them. I basically have no personal life anymore,” she wrote.
“I’ve tried talking to my brothers about the possibility of placing our mom in a nursing home, but once money is involved, everything becomes complicated.
“A decent nursing home for someone who needs full-time care costs at least RM4000 a month. Even if we split the cost, that’s around RM1400 each. As soon as this came up, my brothers started shirking responsibility—one said he couldn’t afford it, another told me to apply for financial aid. It’s always the same attitude: ‘It’s your problem.’”
“They already do nothing to help with caring for our parents. Even when Dad was hospitalized for a whole week, I was the one who took leave to be with him.
“When I asked if we could take turns taking leave, they claimed their jobs were too busy or that their companies wouldn’t allow it,” she shared.
“They just refuse to help. On weekends, when I ask them to come over so I can have a break, they always have excuses—“my son has tuition,” “my daughter has dance class,” “my wife needs to visit her family”... It’s like they’ve never once thought this responsibility should be shared.
“Recently, we got into a heated argument over all this. In frustration, I blurted out, “Don’t force me to throw our parents out onto the street!” And one of them coldly replied, ‘If that’s what you want to do, we can’t stop you. If you’re not afraid of getting struck by lightning, go ahead.’
“That response broke me. I don’t understand—why is all the responsibility of caring for our parents falling on me alone? Just because I’m single, do I have to be morally blackmailed into sacrificing my life? Why is filial piety suddenly the sole duty of the unmarried child, and not a shared responsibility among all of us?” she asked.
