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Despite offering access to global pool of potential matches, platforms also leave users feeling isolated
and disconnected: Lecturer

PETALING JAYA: Today marks the 15th and last day of the Chinese New Year celebrations called Chap Goh Meh, which has great historical significance and is considered the Chinese equivalent of Valentine’s Day.

In the past, Chinese women were only allowed out on the last day of celebrations, when young girls sought love and young men flocked to see them.

It is believed that when young women throw oranges into the sea, it would bring them a good husband. Prospective grooms at the venue would try to catch the oranges and see their future brides.

In the 21st century, dating apps are the “in” thing for those seeking romance and a life partner, with a Statista survey stating that 32% of Malaysians were on them in 2024.

Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia anthropology and sociology senior lecturer Dr Velan Kunjuraman said despite dating apps, arranged marriages are still relevant among those who hold to cultural and traditional values.

He said unlike previously when relatives, friends and even matchmakers helped parents find suitable partners for their children, dating apps now offer instant connections and access to a global pool of potential matches, all from the comfort of a mobile phone or computer.

However, Velan said dating apps have their drawbacks and foster a “touch-and-go” mindset in which relationships are easier to end and less likely to develop into long-term commitments, adding that the excessive use of dating apps replaces physical interactions and leaves users feeling isolated and disconnected.

He also said failed interactions or unmet expectations may impact self-esteem, with the focus on instant gratification often outweighing the development of emotional ties.

Danger also lurks with dating apps as love scams have become a growing concern. In a recent case, a woman from Sibu, Sarawak fell victim after meeting a man on a dating app who claimed to be a Korean national.

He convinced the victim to transfer RM86,841 through 25 payments for alleged Customs fees related to items he claimed to have sent her.

Bukit Aman Commercial Crime Investigation Department director Datuk Seri Ramli Mohamed Yoosuf said women are the primary victims of love scams, making up 79.3% of the 2,223 cases reported from 2022 to August 2024.

“Women are often seen as emotionally weaker, which makes them susceptible to affectionate gestures, especially when they are lonely and vulnerable.”

Despite the risks, many individuals continue to turn to dating apps for love. For some, the apps have been successful in helping them find their life partners.

One user, who asked to be known as Faizal, 27, said he met his wife on a dating app.

“I was sceptical at first and wondered if any of the women I had shown interest in would contact me. But I decided to give it a try. Within 24 hours, I had three replies and one of them is now my wife.

“Initially, we exchanged messages and she gave me her WeChat ID but not her phone number. After a few weeks of late-night conversations, I asked her out to dinner. A few months later, I knew she was the one for me.”

As the popularity of dating apps continues to grow, Velan stressed the importance of using them responsibly and suggested that users limit their time on the apps and prioritise in-person meetings once a mutual connection is established.

He also urged dating app companies to do more to protect users from scams and harmful content.