PETALING JAYA: Having children was once considered the natural next step after marriage, but for many Malaysian couples today, that certainty is fading.
Amid economic pressures and shifting personal values, more couples are delaying parenthood or choosing not to have children at all, challenging long-standing cultural expectations.
Nadia Farhana Mohd Zulkifli, 31, a clerk in Kuala Lumpur, said she and her husband hope to have children one day, but have decided to postpone starting a family due to financial constraints.
“Between work, paying off our car and housing loans, and trying to save, it just doesn’t feel like the right time.
“We’ve talked about it a lot. It’s not that we don’t want kids, but we want to give them a good, stable life. Right now, even thinking about childcare costs or taking unpaid leave feels overwhelming.”
For others, the decision is not just about money, but conviction.
Ali (not his real name), 27, shared that despite cultural and family expectations, he and his wife have chosen not to have children.
“I understand why people want children. For some, it’s fulfilling and meaningful. But for me and my wife, it’s just not something we want.”
He said they frequently face questions from relatives about when they would start a family, but remain firm in their decision.
“If I’m the one who has to raise them, it has to be my choice. I know I wouldn’t enjoy being a parent. Even if money wasn’t a factor, it wouldn’t change our minds.
“I’ve seen how tough it is for friends. Parenthood isn’t something you take on just because society expects it. I’m thankful my wife feels the same.”
For some, fear plays a major role.
A woman in her early 30s, who requested anonymity, said a traumatic family experience left her afraid of pregnancy.
“Years ago, I lost a close relative to childbirth complications and that trauma still haunts me.
“I know pregnancy is natural, but when you’ve seen someone you love suffer like that, it’s impossible to forget. The thought still terrifies me.”
While her husband initially hoped to have children, he now fully supports her decision.
Although she has reservations about childbirth, parenthood is still on the table as the couple is exploring adoption.
“I love the idea of raising a child, just not through pregnancy. The risks and the fear that something could go wrong is overwhelming.”
