Q: As a newly married couple, we are working on organising our budget and setting realistic financial goals. However, we are unsure about how much we should be saving. What do you suggest?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Money can have a significant impact on your relationship. It can either be a source of stability or a frequent point of conflict. This is why it is important for spouses to get on the same page financially, especially when it comes to saving.
For example, one spouse may want to save as much as possible for a rainy day while the other may feel it is important to enjoy life now and spend freely. As you can imagine, this is a recipe for heated disagreements and conflicts.
However, this does not have to happen. By having an open discussion about your financial expectations and creating a plan that both of you agree on, you can avoid conflicts and work together towards common goals.
When it comes to saving for emergencies, how much you should save will depend on your income. If you have a steady income, consider at least three to four months’ worth of expenses. If your income fluctuates from week to week, raise that figure to six months. If you feel you do not earn enough to save, try setting aside a small amount, like RM200 a month. That may not seem like much, but over time, it will add up.
The key is to find a common ground with your spouse, and start small. Do not let the fear of not saving “enough” prevent you from getting started.
You can still enjoy life while building your savings at a pace that works for both of you.
Q: I have been dating a guy for several months, and we are close to getting engaged. He has a few habits that mildly irritate me but I assume that is normal, right? Overall, I think there is a lot of potential in our relationship, especially once we tie the knot.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: It is great that you are being proactive and thinking about this now. One of the most common mistakes engaged couples make is marrying the person they hope their partner will become instead of who they actually are.
When a couple is dating, they tend to overlook each other’s bad habits. Maybe one is chronically late or spends too much money while the other smokes or has a short temper.
Whatever the issue, couples often get caught up in the euphoria of dating, and make a common mistake: they ignore how they feel about their partner’s behaviour. That is because they think, “once we are married, he or she will change”.
This is a dangerous mindset. It is not uncommon for conflicts to arise in marriage over behaviours that were evident during the dating phase.
So, before you get married, ask yourself if you can accept your partner exactly as they are – because there is no guarantee that they will change in the ways you hope, and vice versa.
Of course, the best marriages are built on mutual growth, where both partners strive to improve as individuals and together.
But it is important to recognise that growth does not always happen as smoothly as people expect.
Before your wedding day, make sure you are marrying your partner for who they are right now, not who you hope they will become.
We have resources and tools to help you assess your present relationship, prepare well for marriage, and get your life together off to a great start.
This article is contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information,
visit family.org.my.
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