THE recent tragic incident involving a 13-year-old girl who fell from a third-floor building has deeply shaken our community.
This heartbreaking situation compels us to examine the complex dynamics of bullying – understanding its impact on victims, the factors that create bullying behaviour and our collective responsibility in prevention.
Understanding root causes
Children rarely become bullies in isolation. Research shows that bullying behaviour often stems from the bully’s experiences of powerlessness, trauma or inadequate emotional regulation skills.
Learned patterns from home: Many children who bully have witnessed aggression in their home. When parents use intimidation to resolve conflicts, children may internalise these patterns as normal ways to handle disagreements or assert control.
Underlying insecurity: Many bullies struggle with deep feelings of inadequacy or shame. Bullying behaviour can serve as a psychological defence mechanism, allowing them to project their pain onto others whilst temporarily feeling powerful.
Social learning: Some children learn that aggression gets results – attention, social status or compliance. In environments where empathy is not modelled, some children may adopt bullying as a misguided social strategy.
Parental responsibility
Parents play a pivotal role in shaping the values, emotional skills and behavioural patterns of their children.
Children learn emotional management by watching their parents. When parents handle stress with respect and self-control, children absorb these patterns.
Conversely, parents who respond to challenges with aggression may inadvertently teach their children that these responses are acceptable.
Families that encourage open communication about feelings tend to raise more empathetic children. Parents who dismiss or punish emotional expression may create children who struggle to recognise or respect others’ feelings.
Effective parenting involves setting firm boundaries while maintaining emotional warmth. Children need to understand consequences while feeling unconditionally loved.
Parents who remain actively involved in their children’s social lives are better positioned to identify and address concerning behaviours early.
Internalised trauma
From a somatic perspective, bullying represents chronic stress that affects not just the mind but the entire nervous system.
When children experience repeated victimisation, their bodies may remain in constant alert, affecting sleep patterns, academic performance and overall well-being.
Chronic bullying triggers persistent stress response activation. Bullied children may experience ongoing physical symptoms like headaches, stomach aches, fatigue or difficulty concentrating. Their nervous systems become organised around expecting threat, making it difficult to relax even in safe environments.
Bullying attacks the fundamental human need for belonging and social safety. Victims may withdraw from social connections, viewing relationships as potentially dangerous. This isolation compounds distress and limits access to supportive relationships.
Repeated negative messages from bullies can become internalised, affecting how young people view themselves. The developing adolescent brain is particularly vulnerable to negative self-concepts becoming deeply embedded.
Creating vigilant, caring environments
Effective intervention requires teachers and staff to become skilled observers of student dynamics beyond the classroom setting.
Most bullying occurs during recess, lunch breaks and transitions when adult supervision is minimal. Schools can implement “roving supervision” where teachers deliberately move through different areas, observing social interactions. This includes noting who sits alone at lunch, which children are excluded from activities and identifying emerging social hierarchies.
Educators need training to recognise warning signs – changes in children’s body language, sudden academic performance shifts, friendship groups that exclude others or students who consistently appear isolated.
Teachers must notice not just disruptive behaviour but concerning patterns like children who seem fearful in certain spaces.
Schools should establish various ways for students to seek help – anonymous reporting boxes, designated trusted adults beyond teachers (counsellors, coaches, librarians), peer mediation programmes and digital platforms where students can report concerns safely.
Schools can train staff to maintain visible presence while remaining approachable, positioning themselves strategically during breaks and creating atmospheres where help-seeking is normalised.
Prevention requires understanding the complex factors contributing to bullying behaviour and victimisation.
Regular conversations with children about their social experiences can help identify problems early. Teaching children to treat others with respect while advocating for themselves will create foundations for healthy relationships.
It is crucial to create environments where reporting feels safe and where victims and perpetrators receive appropriate support to prevent escalation.
Recognising children’s behaviour reflects not just individual choices but also surrounding systems. Let us commit to examining our collective role in creating communities where every child can thrive safely.
Our children’s well-being depends on our willingness to address the roots of harmful behaviour while providing unwavering support for those who suffer its consequences.
Nahlana T. Kreshnan is a somatic psychotherapist and life and executive coach. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
