Q: My 12-year-old daughter follows all of her favourite celebrities on social media and is always checking her phone for Instagram posts and updates. I have noticed that many
of these celebrities post racy photos and expletive-filled rants, which concerns me. How should I address this with my daughter?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: The place to start is to have a conversation with your daughter about people in general.
You may have probably done this to some extent. However, discuss about people whose lives are truly worth emulating. Who are some of these individuals? What qualities make someone worth “following”? Name a few names.
Set the bar high on people you admire – both living and deceased – individuals who have selflessly extended themselves for others, giving sacrificially beyond what is considered “normal”.
These individuals believe that there is no greater gift than to lay down their lives for someone else. For example, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and Albert Einstein.
We all have flaws, and there is no perfect person to model our lives after. However, there are countless individuals who have been exemplary in ways that are worth emulating.
Your daughter needs to understand that these people are
not focused on posing for selfies or gaining fame. They are not posting racy photos or expletive-filled rants.
Instead, they are virtuous individuals of great character, and they stand out culturally because of it.
Help your daughter understand that there is nothing wrong with looking up to others.
However, ensure she has a clearer roadmap to discovering what these people are truly like on the inside, and to identify those who are genuinely making a positive impact today or who made a difference in the past.
Q: As a busy mom with young children, I often have to take them shopping with me. But sometimes, they drive me crazy in the store. Please help.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: When families shop together, they are valuing the time spent with each other in everyday life.
You may be surprised that many shoppers do not mind being stuck behind a cart steered by a five-year-old – as long as mom or dad is in control. However, some outings can become frustrating if we are not prepared.
Author Karen Ehman offers some helpful tips for shopping with children.
Feed them first, and avoid hot spots: Temptations are everywhere. If children are hungry, you may be inviting trouble – let’s face it, we all have our “hangry” moments. And if they have not yet learned the difference between needs and wants, it is best to steer clear of certain aisles.
Build incentive: Give children a coupon for a special treat ahead of time. If they get through the
shopping trip without complaining or misbehaving, they can redeem
the treat.
Offer financial awareness: If your older child wants something, discuss the cost with them. If they do not have enough money, brainstorm ways they can earn it.
Buddy up: Some stages are tougher than others. Coordinate with another parent who’s also struggling to watch each other’s children while you take a solo trip to the store.
Most importantly, hang in there. Not every shopping trip will be stress-free but making efforts to guide your children’s behaviour can have a lasting impact.
This article is contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia, a
non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community.
For more information,
visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
