INDIVIDUALS with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) love themselves a little too much, while exhibiting anti-social behaviour. They may seem extreme or even flat-out rude, but most people suffering from NPD will never admit to these signs.
These actions are simply exaggerations of normal behaviour that many people display daily. Characterised by grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy, people with NPD believe that they are superior to others and have little regard for feelings for others. But behind this mask of ultra confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism. Types of narcissists:
1. Grandiose/Overt/Agentic Grandiose
Narcissists are typically viewed as arrogant, manipulative and demanding. They often display behaviours such as bragging about their accomplishments, seeking constant admiration from others and exaggerating their skills and achievements. These individuals have an inflated sense of self-worth, believing that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment.
2. Covert
Often challenging to pick out of a crowd, they use their charm to hide that they see themselves as better than others. Covert narcissists can be shy and withdrawn, but they also tend to be self-deprecating. People with this type of narcissism can be susceptible to criticism, making them difficult to deal with if they do not get what they want.
3. Antagonistic
Antagonistic narcissists are not necessarily evil people, but they tend to have a low tolerance for anyone who challenges their authority. They tend to be self-centred and insensitive to the needs and desires of other people, displaying a lack of empathy. They also tend to undermine others, sabotage their success and feel contempt for them.
4. Communal
Communal narcissists tend to feel good about themselves for doing charitable deeds and are more motivated by the praise they receive from others than any actual desire to help someone else. Communal narcissism is on the rise as people seek social media validation for their actions - even if those actions are small ones like buying coffee for someone else or commenting on a friend’s Instagram post. Psychologists believe social media has created a generation of people who constantly want to feel good about themselves!
5. Malignant
The most dangerous and destructive of all personality disorders, they will take advantage of anyone to get their needs met, have no empathy or compassion, lack feelings and emotions, and are incapable of love or intimacy. They have extreme self-absorption, a sense of entitlement, jealousy, and rage make them difficult to be around - yet they often do not seem disturbed by this fact.
Misconception of narcissism
The word “narcissist” is thrown around a lot these days. It has become synonymous with self-centred and vain, but that is a misconception. Narcissism is a personality disorder that affects 1% of the population, and it can cause severe problems in relationships, work and other areas of life. The reality is that not everyone is a narcissist. Get help from a professional if you “think” you may be a narcissist.
Narcissism versus self-esteem
Narcissism is the need to dominate others and achieve superior resources. It is associated with feelings of grandiosity and self-importance. High self-esteem is a healthy feeling of self-worth based on realistic perceptions of one’s positive qualities, performance and potential. A person with high self-esteem feels good about themselves while being aware of their limitations.
Final thoughts
Narcissists are common and they can be anywhere. They could be your friend, your coworker, or even your family. Spotting them may be a challenge at first; however, if you recognise someone with such traits, or if you are a victim, do not delay in seeking help.
Dr Praveena Rajendra is a certified mental health and awareness practitioner.
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