BEING a mother is said to be among the most fulfilling experiences a woman can embrace.
Despite the many tribulations that come along with it, many women cite it as a highlight due to the unconditional love they develop during this journey.
Local content creators Abby Naomi Doss, Ayu Rafikah Mohammad Ahmee and Genevieve Low Huai Yi can attest to this, being mothers themselves.
In conjunction with Mother’s Day this Sunday, they speak on their experience with theSun, opening up about their journey to motherhood.
Natural calling
Abby, who works as a content creator and public relations consultant, has always wanted motherhood for herself. The 31-year-old was fortunate to welcome her first child after three years of marriage.
“I have been a mother since my baby girl Elara Anaia was born last December. She just turned four months old. Every day with her is a new challenge and an adventure. I have been loving every moment of it,” said the Kuala Lumpur native.
Ayu, a mother of seven, had the same calling. Growing up in a single-parent household, the 47-year-old content creator was inspired by her mother’s tenacity to go above and beyond for her and her siblings.
“My mother was a single parent and she still managed to provide a good life for us. So, when I met my husband, the calling to have a family and be a mother felt natural.”
Motherhood was an eventual destination for Low too. Though it was not an immediate priority, she knew she would eventually settle down with a family of her own.
“I am still pretty new to this whole journey. It has been a real roller coaster, every day is a new adventure. It is one of those things you do not fully understand until you experience it yourself. Now, I cannot imagine life any other way,” shared the mother of five months.
Shattering unrealistic expectations
That said, nothing could prepare them for what was ahead. Before her pregnancy, Abby had assumed motherhood to be a bed of roses due to the various movie depictions.
Considering how it was unrealistically depicted on screen, she assumed she would be able to juggle her responsibilities as a mother and her job effortlessly.
“I was wrong. My breast feeding journey? It was a wild ride! First, there is the feeding and then the crying. By the time I got a burp out of her, I was completely zonked out.
“And that whole ‘get some rest when the baby sleeps’ idea? Total myth! By the time I feed her and get her to burp, it is 30 minutes until the next feeding. It is like a never-ending cycle of chaos.”
Low, too, had fallen for the unrealistic depictions. The 33-year-old assumed motherhood only consisted of adorable bonding moments.
“I thought it would be all about the cute moments and the bonding, which is definitely part of it. But I believe the sleepless nights, the constant juggling and the pressure to get everything right are also part of the journey.”
Ayu, on the other hand, was given an intimidating view of motherhood. She was often told how her life would drastically change once she welcomed a child.
“I heard how taxing it can be. People told me how I would not get enough sleep, the rise in monetary commitment and how it would affect my physique.”
Unavoidable changes
Each of the mothers indeed had a set of difficulties to overcome. For most of her pregnancy, Abby was alone at home as her husband had moved abroad for work. Upon the announcement, he had found a better job opportunity in Dubai.
“It was tough, especially after delivering my daughter. I felt really down without him by my side. But with God being my strength and the support of my family and friends, I slowly started to overcome it.”
Abby got back into her normal activities after her two months postpartum.
“Time was and still is my number one struggle. With a big family, it can be difficult to manage your time every day. You have to think about a lot of things. You have to care for them in various ways,” noted Ayu.
“As a freelancer, I am still finding it difficult to manage my work while taking care of my baby at home. It has been a bit of a struggle to keep up with deadlines and stay as productive as I used to,” expressed Low.
Sacrifices pay off
The fulfilment of motherhood, however, makes up for the sacrifices. Watching their children grow up has been the most joyful reward for all of them.
“Seeing my daughter thrive has been incredibly fulfilling. Each month brings new milestones and I love witnessing all her little achievements,” Abby contended.
“When my baby smiles at me or when she reaches out for me, these moments melt my heart every time. Watching her grow and discover new things is fulfilling and I love knowing I am there for her through it all,” shared Low.
Experienced mother Ayu finds her tight-knit relationship with her children to be a highlight, in addition to witnessing how far they have come.
“My oldest does not live with me but still communicates with me regularly. Even for minor things such as picking outfits, they would video call me to get my opinion. These kinds of gestures bring me the most joy.”
Take it slow
Now that all of them are thriving mothers, gradual and empathetic growth is something they advised for young mothers. While perfection is tempting, they advised young mothers to experience motherhood one step at a time.
“I know how tough it can be. Some days, just getting out of the house feels like a monumental effort and that is okay. The fact that you are here, doing your best is what truly matters,” encouraged Abby.
“Do not be too hard on yourself. We all have our pace. It is okay to not have everything figured out. It is all about loving your little one, trusting your instincts and giving yourself grace along the way,” advised Low.
“It is not going to be an easy journey. Hence, practice self-care. When you love yourself, you will be able to love your children. It will benefit them tremendously,” Ayu said.
Simple celebration
As for their plans for Mother’s Day, all three have nothing big planned, only looking at a casual celebration with their loved ones.
“I will be spending it with my baby, enjoying my first Mother’s Day with her. Just some quiet moments together,” shared Abby.
“I am just going to take it as it comes. I am sure I will spend it with my daughter, soaking in the moments and hopefully get some rest if I am lucky,” expressed Low.
As for Ayu, she will most likely get wishes from her children on Whatsapp and a simple dinner at her favourite restaurant.
