MANY of us are familiar with Fomo – the fear of missing out – that anxious feeling that comes from the thought of being left out.
But in today’s world, a new phenomenon has emerged: Fobi – the fear of being included. Popularised on social media platforms like X, TikTok and others, Fobi captures the rising discomfort some people feel at being invited, involved or socially obligated, even when they are technically “included”.
Fobi is essentially the opposite of Fomo. While Fomo is rooted in the fear of being left out, Fobi arises from a reluctance to be pulled in.
This hesitation can be triggered by a range of factors – perhaps the person no longer finds value in the event or group, wants to maintain a sense of independence or simply finds social interaction mentally and emotionally draining.
For those with introverted tendencies, even well-meaning invitations can feel overwhelming.
In today’s culture, particularly among younger generations, there is a growing preference for solitude, self-driven work and selective social interactions.
Rather than chasing inclusion, many now value their peace, personal time and boundaries, even if it means having fewer social connections.
This shift reflects not just a change in social dynamics but also a deeper issue on mental health and digital fatigue.
With constant exposure to online interactions and the pressure to maintain appearances, being invited or included can sometimes feel more like a burden to someone than a blessing. Fobi, in this light, becomes a form of self-preservation.
Society needs to recognise this evolving mindset. Instead of labelling people as antisocial or distant, we should foster a culture that respects boundaries and acknowledges that opting out is not always rejection but sometimes it is just self-care.
Nurul Nabilah Izzati Hashim
Kuala Lumpur
