A mother of two shared some heartfelt advice to women, urging them not to rush into getting married and having children.
“I want to advise all women not to let romantic feelings dictate your decisions. Don’t marry just for the sake of marriage, and don’t have children just for the sake of having children,” she said in an anonymous confession on Facebook page XUAN Play.
The anonymous mother described her two-year marriage following her second child’s birth deteriorating as her husband’s neglect and lack of care intensified.
While things were “bearable” in the beginning of their marriage, she gradually became dissatisfied with her husband during her first pregnancy, saying her husband’s perception of her suffering during that time was “insignificant”.
She lamented how her husband did not pull his weight in doing the household chores, even during the third trimester of the pregancy, on top of making his meals.
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Adding salt to the wound, he brushed off his friends’ advice to help her with the housework considering her pregnancy and he retorted how pregnant women should “move more” and not just “sit around”.
Her situation worsened following her first child’s birth and her marriage started to hit several bumps as she and her husband argued more often to the point she was emotionally distraught on most days.
“When the baby got sick, I wanted to follow the doctor’s advice, but he thought doctors were just trying to get us to buy medication and believed that taking vitamins was enough to cure illness.
“The constant crying at night made me depressed. Instead of finding a solution, he just blamed me and continued to sleep soundly while I stayed up crying with the baby. When I asked if he noticed my depression, he was completely oblivious and didn’t seem concerned,” she added.
As things were looking up for her as her first child’s condition improved eight months, she faced another hurdle upon finding out about her second pregnancy soon after that and when she spoke to her husband and conveyed her worries of enduring the same issues during her first pregnancy, he promised to hire extra help to and decided to keep the baby.
She reflected in her post that she “naively” made the decision as she believed that her husband would step up in taking care of her only to find he did not show any change.
The woman also brought up another moment where she had to nebulise her first child who was down with a viral infection after her husband, once again, refused to have the doctor nebulise them, and not offer any help at the time.
“At that moment, I hated him for putting me in this situation. I hated myself even more for knowing he was unreliable and not using contraception. Now, I have to pay the price for my actions,” she said.
Following the second child’s birth, the woman, once again, is faced with the task of caring for the baby alone, mentioning how she has given up on her “largely useless” husband.
She concluded the post warning women how getting impregnated by the wrong man is an inescapable “personal hell”, emphasising how the pressure to care for the child ultimately falls on the mother at the end of the day.
She also pushed for the use of contraception, even during marriage so no other woman has to endure a situation similar to hers.
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