Q: As a successful career executive, I am honoured to be approached by headhunters offering better positions across the country. I want to provide the best for my wife and children. What family principles should I consider when weighing my options?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: A career change can be a tremendous opportunity but it can also place unexpected strain on your family.
Many couples focus primarily on the financial upside when making career decisions but major changes, especially those involving relocation, can have far-reaching effects on family life. Here are some important questions to consider:
0 Is relocating to another city or country worth leaving behind your support system of family and friends?
0 Are your children emotionally prepared to start over in a new school?
0 Have you and your spouse discussed how this change could affect your relationship and overall family dynamic?
If your answers point towards making the move, then you have laid the groundwork for success, not just in your career but also in preserving the strength of your home life. However, if key pieces are missing, what looks like an opportunity could be trouble in the making.
We all want to advance financially but it is vital not to compromise the most important relationships in your life. A higher salary and more prestigious title can be rewarding but they often come with increased responsibilities and stress. Do not assume that more money is the only way to provide well for your family.
Career decisions will affect far more than your paycheck. Do not let your ambition for money and success come at the cost of your family relationships.
Let your ambition be guided by wisdom and foresight, and choose a path that protects what truly matters – your family.
Q: As a dad, I expect my children to consistently meet high standards. It is how my father raised me and it shaped me for the better. However, my wife thinks we should cut them some slack. How do we find the right balance between high expectations and healthy flexibility?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: This may sound counterintuitive at first but one of the most valuable lessons you can teach your children is how to fail and then get back up. Becoming comfortable with your children’s failures can transform the way you parent.
Think about when your child was learning to walk. That entire process was a series of stumbles and falls that ultimately led to success.
A toddler may only take one or two steps before falling but we do not tell them to stop trying. Instead, we stretch out our hands, smile and say, “Come to Daddy”. And they do. They get up and try again, a little more confidently each time. But something shifts as our children grow older. As the consequences become more serious, we often become less tolerant of failure, not out of harshness, but out of love and the desire to see them succeed. Still, the message our children sometimes hear is that anything less than perfection is not good enough.
We may not intend to send that message but our high expectations can create unnecessary pressure. Children thrive under encouragement and guidance, not constant performance-based approval.
If perfection has quietly become the unspoken rule in your home, it is worth stepping back and recalibrating. The goal is to raise resilient, emotionally healthy children – young people who can make mistakes, learn from them and keep moving forward with confidence.
Encourage excellence, yes, but also teach them that failure is not the end; it is part of the journey. What they need most is your support, not just when they succeed but especially when they fall and try again. What we want them to learn is not perfection; it is progress.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
